Chapter 7

 

  WORKING WITH OTHERS

 

PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will

so much insure immunity from drinking as

intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when

other activities fail.

   (See BB 14 bottom, 15:1, 181 Reason 4)

   This is our twelfth suggestion:

Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help

when no one else can. You can secure their confi-

dence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.

   (See BB 18:4)

  

  Just as firmly bound by obligation are the members of

  Alcoholics Anonymous, who have demonstrated that they

  can help problem drinkers as others seldom can. The

  unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and

  bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon

  his learning, eloquence, or on any special individual skills.

  The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who

  has found a key to sobriety.

   T&T 150-151  Tradition Five   

 

   Life will take on new meaning. To watch people

recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness

vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have

a host of friends-this is an experience you must not

miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Fre-

quent contact with newcomers and with each other

is the bright spot of our lives.       (See BB 124:2)

 

  THE joy of living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step, and

  action is its key word. Here we turn outward toward our

  fellow alcoholics who are still in distress. Here we experi-

  ence the kind of giving that asks no rewards. Here we begin

  to practice all Twelve Steps of the program in our daily

  lives so that we and those about us may find emotional so-

  briety. When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication,

  it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price

  tag on it...

 

     Practically every A.A. member declares that no satis-

  faction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth

  Step job well done. To watch the eyes of men and women

  open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to

  see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning,

  to see whole families reassembled, to see the alcoholic out-

  cast received back into his community in full citizenship,

  and above all to watch these people awaken to the presence

  of a loving God in their lives- these things are the sub-

  stance of what we receive as we carry A.A.'s message to the

  next alcoholic...

            If our turn comes to speak at a

  meeting, we again try to carry A.A.'s message. Whether our

  audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There

  are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable

  to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot

  do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the

  ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that

  make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging

  for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many

  skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence

  and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step

  work in the very best sense of the word.

   T&T 106, 110 Step Twelve

 

   Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers

who want to recover. You can easily find some by

asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals.

   (See BB 155 Top, 163:2)

They will be only too glad to assist you. Don’t start

out as an evangelist or reformer. Unfortunately a lot

of prejudice exists. You will be handicapped if you

arouse it. Ministers and doctors are competent and

you can learn much from them if you wish, but it

happens that because of your own drinking experience

you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. So

cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our only

aim.

 

    89

 

 

 90  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anony-

mous, find out all you can about him. If he does not

want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to per-

suade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This

advice is given for his family also. They should be

patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.

   If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have

a good talk with the person most interested in him-

usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his prob-

lems, his background, the seriousness of his condition,

and his religious leanings. You need this information

to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like

him to approach you if the tables were turned.

   (See BB 111:3)

   Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge.

The family may object to this, but unless he is in a

dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it.

Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he

is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the

end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then

let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit

for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.

If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to

you as a person who has recovered. You should be

described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part

of their own recovery, try to help others and who will

be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.

   If he does not want to see you, never force yourself

upon him. Neither should the family hysterically

plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell

him much about you. They should wait for the end

of his next drinking bout. You might place this book

where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific

rule can be given. The family must decide these

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   91

 

things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for that

might spoil matters.

   Usually the family should not try to tell your story.

When possible, avoid meeting a man through his

family. Approach through a doctor or an institution

is a better bet. If your man needs hospitalization, he

should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.

Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something

in the way of a solution.

   When your man is better, the doctor might suggest

a visit from you. Though you have talked with the

family, leave them out of the first discussion. Under

these conditions your prospect will see he is under no

pressure.

   (See BB 113:2)

      He will feel he can deal with you without

being nagged by his family. Call on him while he is

still jittery. He may be more receptive when de-

pressed.

   See your man alone, if possible. At first engage in

general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to

some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your

drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encour-

age him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let

him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you

ought to proceed. If he is not communicative, give

him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time

you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how

that was accomplished. If he is in a serious mood

dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being

careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light,

tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him

to tell some of his.

   When he sees you know all about the drinking

game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.

 

 92  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally

learned that you were sick. Give him an account of

the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental

twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We

suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter

on alcoholism. If he is alcoholic, he will understand

you at once. He will match your mental inconsisten-

cies with some of his own.

   (See BB 92:2, 157:4)

   

      Our sponsors declared that we

  were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly powerful

  that no amount of human willpower could break it. There

  was, they said, no such thing as the personal conquest of

  this compulsion by the unaided will. Relentlessly deepen-

  ing our dilemma, our sponsors pointed out our increasing

  sensitivity to alcohol- an allergy, they called it. The tyrant

  alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we

  were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on

  drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we

  would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process.

   T&T 22  Step Two

 

   If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin

to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady.

 

  In A.A.'s pioneering time, none but the most desperate

  cases could swallow and digest this unpalatable truth...

 

     It is a tremendous satisfaction to record that in the fol-

  lowing years this changed. Alcoholics who still had their

  health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in the

  garage, began to recognize their alcoholism. As this trend

  grew, they were joined by young people who were scarcely

  more than potential alcoholics. They were spared that last

  ten or fifteen years of literal hell the rest of us had gone

  through.

   T&T 22, 23  Step One

 

       Show

him, from your own experience, how the queer mental

condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal

functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage,

refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to

discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an

alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he

sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking,

tell him that possibly he can-if he is not too alcoholic.

But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be

little chance he can recover by himself.

   (See BB 111:1)

   Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal

malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind

which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed

mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many

are doomed who never realize their predicament.

Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the

whole story unless it will serve some good purpose.

But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of

alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will

soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not

all, of the traits of the alcoholic.

   (See BB 92 Top, 157:4, 180:2)

         If his own doctor

is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the

better. Even though your protégé may not have en­-

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   93

 

tirely admitted his condition, he has become very

curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you

that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what hap-

pened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If

the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that

he does not have to agree with your conception of

God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided

it makes sense to him.  The main thing is that he be

willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and

that he live by spiritual principles. .

   When dealing with such a person, you had better

use everyday language to describe spiritual principles.

There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have

against certain theological terms and conceptions

about which he may already be confused. Don’t

raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions

are.

   Your prospect may belong to a religious denomina-

tion. His religious education and training may be far

superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder

how you can add anything to what he already knows.

But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions

have not worked and why yours seem to work so well.

He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is

insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied

by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.

   (See BB 14:6, 76:3, 88:3)

          Let

him see that you are not there to instruct him in re-

ligion. Admit that he probably knows more about it

than you do, but call to his attention the fact that

however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not

have applied it or he would not drink.

 

  'You have faith,' I said. 'Perhaps far deeper faith than mine.

  No doubt you're better taught in religious matters than I. So

  I can't tell you anything about religion. I don't even want to

  try. I'll bet, too, that you could give me a letter-perfect defi-

  nition of humility.' ... he began to listen while I tried to show

  him that humility was the main key to sobriety. Finally, he

  saw that I wasn't attempting to change his religious views,

  that I wanted him to find the grace in his own religion that

  would aid his recovery. From there on we got along fine.

   T&T Page 153 Tradition Five

 

          Perhaps your

story will help him see where he has failed to practice

the very precepts he knows so well. We represent no

 

 94  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only

with general principles common to most denomina-

tions.

   Outline the program of action, explaining how you

made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your

past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful

to him. It is important for him to realize that your

attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in

your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you

more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is

under no obligation to you, that you hope only that

he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes

his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that

he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own.

Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he

needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You

should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for

he has helped you more than you have helped him.

If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human

understanding, you have perhaps made a friend.

Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of

alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hope-

less he feels, the better. He will be more likely to

follow your suggestions.

   Your candidate may give reasons why he need not

follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thought

of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion

with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell

him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether

you would have made much progress had you not

taken action.

 

  The sponsors of those who feel they need no inventory

  are confronted with quite another problem. This is because

  people who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind

  themselves to their liabilities. These newcomers scarcely

  need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a

  chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the

  light of reason can shine.

     First off, they can be told that the majority of A.A.

  members have suffered severely from self-justification dur-

  ing their drinking days

   T&T 46  Step Four

 

  On your first visit tell him about the

Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows

interest, lend him your copy of this book. 

   (See BB 112:4)

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   95

 

   Unless your friend wants to talk further about him-

self, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a

chance to think it over. If you do stay, let him steer

the conversation in any direction he likes. Sometimes

a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may

be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mis-

take. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you

rushed him.

   (See BB 113:1)

          You will be most successful with alco-

holics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or

reform.

   (See BB 111:3)

  Never talk down to an alcoholic from any

moral or spiritual hilltop;

   (See BB  18:5)

           simply lay out the kit of

spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they

worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellow-

ship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do

anything to help.

   If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects

you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties

or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him

until he changes his mind. This he may do after he

gets hurt some more.

   (See BB 108:3, 141:1)

   If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you

again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After

doing that, he must decide for himself whether he

wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded

by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God,

the desire must come from within.    (See BB 113:2)

 

  But now it appears that there are certain things which only

  the individual can do. All by himself, and in the light of his

  own circumstances, he needs to develop the quality of will-

  ingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one

  who can make the decision to exert himself. Trying to do

  this is an act of his own will. All of the Twelve Steps re-

  quire sustained and personal exertion to conform to their

  principles and so, we trust, to God's will.

   T&T 40  Step Three

 

   If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or

prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him

to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly

on God; we merely have an approach that worked

with us.

   (See BB 28:3)

   But point out that we alcoholics have much

in common and that you would like, in any case, to

be friendly. Let it go at that.

 

 96  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not re-

spond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try

again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough

to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a

waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or

will not work with you. If you leave such a person

alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot

recover by himself. To spend too much time on any

one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an op-

portunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship

failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He

often says that if he had continued to work on them,

he might have deprived many others, who have since

recovered, of their chance.

 

     We may often pass through Twelfth Step experiences

  where we will seem to be temporarily off the beam. These

  will appear as big setbacks at the time, but will be seen later

  as stepping-stones to better things. For example, we may

  set our hearts on getting a particular person sobered up, and

  after doing all we can for months, we see him relapse. Per-

  haps this will happen in a succession of cases, and we may

  be deeply discouraged as to our ability to carry A.A.'s message.

   T&T 111  Step Twelve

 

   Suppose now you are making your second visit to a

man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared

to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of

recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you

can give him much practical advice. Let him know

you are available if he wishes to make a decision and

tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to

consult someone else.

   He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might

try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little

financial assistance. But you should not deprive your

family or creditors of money they should have. Per-

haps you will want to take the man into your home for

a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain

he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is

not trying to impose upon you for money, connections,

or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You

will be making it possible for him to be insincere.

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   97

 

You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his

recovery.

   Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you

are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping

others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A

kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to

act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may

mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference

with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It

may mean sharing your money and your home, coun-

seling frantic wives and relatives,

   (See BB 161:2)

              innumerable trips

to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and

asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of

the day or night.

   (See BB 159:2)

      Your wife may sometimes say she

is neglected.

   (See BB Page 119:2, 131:2)

  A drunk may smash the furniture in your

home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with

him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call

a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction.

Another time you may have to send for the police or

an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet

such conditions.

   We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes

for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it some-

times creates serious complications in a family.

 

  'Although none of the alcoholics we boarded seemed to get

  sober, some others had.'

   T&T Page 137 Tradition Two

 

   Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no

reason why you should neglect his family. You should

continue to be friendly to them. The family should be

offered your way of life. Should they accept and

practice spiritual principles, there is a much better

chance that the head of the family will recover. And

even though he continues to drink, the family will find

life more bearable.

   (See BB 111:3, 159:2)

   For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to

 

 98  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the

word, is needed or wanted. The men who cry for

money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on

the wrong track. Yet we do go to great extremes to

provide each other with these very things, when such

action is warranted. This may seem inconsistent, but

we think it is not.

   It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but

when and how to give. That often makes the differ-

ence between failure and success.

  (See BB 161:2)

 

  We forgot that most alcoholics in A.A. have an earning power

  considerably above average; we forgot the immense good-

  will of our brother A.A.'s who were only too eager to help

  us to better jobs when we deserved them;

   T&T 121  Step Twelve

 

       The minute we put

our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences

to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He

clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master

alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Non-

sense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to

learn this truth: Job or no job-wife or no wife-we

simply do not stop drinking so long as we place de-

pendence upon other people ahead of dependence on

God.

   Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man

that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only

condition is that he trust in God and clean house.

   Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce,

separation, or just strained relations. When your pros-

pect has made such reparation as he can to his family,

and has thoroughly explained to them the new princi-

ples by which he is living, he should proceed to put

those principles into action at home. That is, if he is

lucky enough to have a home. Though his family be at

fault in many respects, he should not be concerned

about that. He should concentrate on his own spiri-

tual demonstration. Argument and fault-finding are to

be avoided like the plague.

  (See BB 67:2, 77 Bottom - 78)

      In many homes this is a

 

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   99

 

difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results

are to be expected. If persisted in for a few months,

the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great. The

most incompatible people discover they have a basis

upon which they can meet. Little by little the family

may see their own defects and admit them. These can

then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and

friendliness.

   After they have seen tangible results, the family will

perhaps want to go along. These things will come

to pass naturally and in good time provided, however,

the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be

sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what

anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much be-

low this standard many times. But we must try to

repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty

by a spree.

   If there be divorce or separation, there should be no

undue haste for the couple to get together. The man

should be sure of his recovery. The wife should fully

understand his new way of life. If their old relation-

ship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis,

since the former did not work.

   (See BB 120:1, 131:1)

        This means a new

attitude and spirit all around. Sometimes it is to the

best interests of all concerned that a couple remain

apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Let the

alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the

time for living together has come, it will be apparent

to both parties.

   Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has

his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases the

wife will never come back for one reason or another.

Remind the prospect that his recovery is not depen­

 

 100  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

dent upon people. It is dependent upon his relation-

ship with God. We have seen men get well whose

families have not returned at all. We have seen others

slip when the family came back too soon.

   Both you and the new man must walk day by day in

the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remark-

able things will happen. When we look back, we

realize that the things which came to us when we put

ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything

we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a

Higher Power and you will presently live in a new

and wonderful world, no matter what your present

circumstances!

   When working with a man and his family, you

should take care not to participate in their quarrels.

You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.

But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very

sick person and should be treated accordingly. You

should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.

You should point out that his defects of character are

not going to disappear over night. Show them that

he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them to

remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact

of his sobriety.

   (See BB 117:1, 118:3, 123:2, 127 Top)

 

        This does not mean that we expect

  all our character defects to be lifted out of us as the drive to

  drink was. A few of them may be, but with most of them

  we shall have to be content with patient improvement.

   T&T 65  Step Six

 

  A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be

  set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.

   T&T 73  Step Seven

 

   If you have been successful in solving your own

domestic problems, tell the newcomer’s family how

that was accomplished. In this way you can set them

on the right track without becoming critical of them.

The story of how you and your wife settled your

difficulties is worth any amount of criticism.

   Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts

of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People

have said we must not go where liquor is served; we

 

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS   101

 

must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends

who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which

show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our

friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses;

we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

   We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic

who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind;  

   (See BB 41 Bottom)

there is something the matter with his spiritual status.

His only chance for sobriety would be some place like

the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo

might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin every-

thing! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to

distant places on the theory he would escape the

alcohol problem.

   In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism

which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation

is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield

himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually

winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have

tried these methods. These attempts to do the im-

possible have always failed.

   (See BB 85 Top, 120:3, 147 Top)

   So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is

drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being

there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, recep-

tions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.

To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic,

this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.

You will note that we made an important qualifica-

tion. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have

I any good social, business, or personal reason for go-

ing to this place?

    (See BB 147 Top)

         Or am I expecting to steal a little

vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such

 

 

 102  ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

 

places?”

   (See BB 154:3)

      If you answer these questions satisfactorily,

you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away,

whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid

spiritual ground before you start and that your motive

in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what

you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you

can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better

work with another alcoholic instead!

   (See BB 154 Bottom)  

   Why sit with a long face in places where there is

drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a

happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those

there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your

business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who

wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your

friends know they are not to change their habits on

your account. At a proper time and place explain to

all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If

you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to

drink. While you were drinking, you were withdraw-

ing from life little by little. Now you are getting back

into the social life of this world. Don’t start to with-

draw again just because your friends drink liquor.

   Your job now is to be at the place where you may be

of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to

go anywhere if you can be helpful.

   (See BB 76 Top)

     You should not

hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such

an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these

motives and God will keep you unharmed.

   Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often

need it to carry green recruits through a severe hang-

over. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided

they are not alcoholic.

   (See BB 110 Bottom)

      But some of us think we should

not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this ques­

 

 

 WORKING WITH OTHERS  103

 

tion. We feel that each family, in the light of their

own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves.

   We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred

of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that

such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new

alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is im-

mensely relieved when he finds we are not witch-

burners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics

whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for

such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of

temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in

a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by

one who hates it.

   Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will

help the public to a better realization of the gravity

of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use

if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers

will not stand for it.

   After all, our problems were of our own making.

Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped

fighting anybody or anything. We have to!